Do's and Don'ts in Parenting Adolescents
Parenting adolescents has never been a walk in the
park. It has even made harder these days because of the influence of modern technology, media exposure and
the so-called give-your-child-freedom rules. Yet, the basic rules still apply and both parent and child
should know this: trusting the child completely without him being abusive of that freedom. Here are some tips
that may find helpful when dealing with an adolescent at home.
DO's
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Do let your child know that their opinions, ideas and feelings are things that most matter to
you. Take for example, deciding on the school he would go to in high school or college
perhaps, do make a suggestion but never dictate him where to enroll him. Weigh the options with
him. Both of you can get a piece of paper and write down some schools and the advantages and
disadvantages of each school. Let your child speak what's on his mind. This can be very
helpful to both of you so that when he feels unhappy in the school, he cannot blame you because he
chooses it.
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Do appreciate him even for simple things. Appreciation is very important since
this will help boost your child's self-confidence. When your child knows that you are there to
support him, your child will have that trust on you not that what he does matters and that he is
important. If your child is able to clean the house, cook you some food or fix your room,
appreciate and thank him for doing that even if it not properly done.
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Do have quality time with your child. This can be a stroll in the park, going to
theater or watch a movie at home. Both you and your adolescent can do household chores together,
do laundry together, clean the house together. Quality time does not matter how many minutes and
hours have you spent time with each other but how each of you have been smiling and laughing at the
available time together. There are times when you spent whole day in the house and yet the whole
time you are there your continuously nagging and making your adolescent wish you leave.
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Do go to church, share the spiritual respect and pray with your adolescent. This
is the most powerful tool that each parent should know about parenting adolescent. Building that
spiritual strength with your adolescent is imperative since it is the aspect that serves as a guiding
principle to every man's journey. When you are successful in bringing your child to church
without a hint of refusal from them, when you see your child volunteering for a part in the school and
in the community and if you see the smile when he is doing it, consider yourself successful in
Parenting Adolescent 101.
DON'Ts
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Do not reprimand your adolescent in front of the kid. Unfortunately, there are
parents who do this and do it with so much gusto. There are even parents who willfully hit their
adolescent in the public. In some countries, this is tolerable but should not be a parent's
resort as this will have a negative impact to your child's well-being. If your child has done
something wrong or fails at school, do not treat him as if he is the worst prisoner in the world.
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Do not take his wrongdoings for granted. Talk to your adolescent if he has done
something wrong. He may have done that against his will or due to peer pressure only or he may
have done that to get your attention. In any case, do not blame him for his mistakes. It
takes two to tango even with parenting adolescent.
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Do not ever use this phrase, "When I was at your age…" especially if you are reprimanding
him. This will only make him feel rebellious. You are making a comparison which
leads to the most important thing to avoid,
-
DO NOT EVER COMPARE your adolescent. Each individual is unique from each
other. If you compare your teens to his or her siblings or to any adolescents in the neighborhood
or in the school, your teen will have the impression that you have regrets having him as your
child. They will feel so bad about it that they will instead rebel and worst hate you for doing
it.
As a parent, one thing you should know is this. Your child is the exact replica of your
personality. How you treat them, care for them and deal with them is seen on how they will deal with the
people surrounding them. If they always nag, have the feeling that the world is against them and they are so
negative in almost anything, chances are that is how you deal with your adolescent. That alone makes you less
of a parent.
On the other hand, if your child is optimistic and genuinely feels happy being with others, is
not afraid to accept his mistakes and always have the courage to carry on with things, well then, congratulations,
you have been able to handle parenting adolescent perfectly.
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